The noughties

13 December 2009 | , ,

2000: Moved from Manchester to Sheffield. Met Hayley and Oli and Stuart who took me to the pub. Finished BA. Met Neil. Got attacked by a goose. Moved to London. Started MA.

2001: Westminster Bridge Road. Depression. Finished MA. Started work in academia. Lost ability to make art. Won Mr and Mrs competition.

2002: Tooting. Watched Star Wars for the first time. Got second job.

2003: Colliers Wood. Met most of my friends. ‘To all the lovers and sweethearts we will never meet.’ Ralph disappears.

2004: Met those of of my friends who I hadn’t met in 2003. Depression (unrelated).

2005: Ralph reappeared. Moved to Glasgow. Met those of my friends living in Glasgow. Became a lecturer. Started PhD at Sheffield.

2006: Began psychoanalysis. Began running the MRes. First conference paper on seduction.

2007: Bought flat. Visited Berlin for the first time. Visited New York for the first, second and third times. Saw Étant Donnés and it changed my life.

2008: Ended psychoanalysis. Found ability to make art. Began teaching psychoanalysis. Got married. Fell in love with Portugal again.

2009: Overworked, overwhelmed. Depression. Back in therapy. Ended running the MRes. Started correspondence with Linda. Feel much better. Freud collection almost complete. First published book chapter.

5 thoughts on “The noughties

  1. Ya contamos las cosas por décadas, eso es algo que no deja de impactarme. Aunque yo me miego a hacer recuento.


  2. how can i say it or put it – you have made a list which fits so dryly on the screen seamlessly listing the lull of life’s nameable events interrupted by the strange and listless unforgiving return of the word Depression .And suddenly with that admission i understand why you are such an inspiring teacher – you have the richness of the depths that Depression sends us to. you will never know what an amazing and supportive and brilliant effect you have made on your student’s lives – although i am i feel testimony to this – you totally believed in me and this gave me the most fundamental nutrients for learning and growing and ultimately creative living .you couldn’t put that on your noughties list , but i can. You transform lives with that ability of yours , to think, to feel, to transmit and impart knowledge . That is truly worthwhile . I have worked out an equation for depression – with depression featuring as a cypher which is signalling a breakdown in the intra communication between aspects of ones selves, one part has become domineering and is excluding another part or parts and this creates an imbalance – some part is not happy , ignored and unable to express its need – talk to the parts get the selves communicating again and bingo you surface again- of course its not quite as simple or easy as that. I bought three different wigs to wear to get the selves idea going but pum doesn’t need them any more – i have homoeostasis.I can recommend reading some James Hillman (1976) – Re-visioning Psychology . New York: Harper & Row.

  3. Dearest Pum,

    Thank you so much for your kind words and your interesting reference, which I will follow up on. I find depression too scary a word for a time that, most of the time, means stopping and reassessing one’s priorities. Of course, this is a conflict, and one involving communication with oneself as you so well put it. I get a lot from working with students; I got so much from working with you. I felt that pressures took me away from precisely that: engagement with what I liked most. So I had to stop and think again. I am lucky in that I let myself be helped and my students were lovely and so was my therapist so, as you can see from the last bit of my 2009 assessment, I feel much better. It was a warning sign and I listened to it.

    I hope 2010 brings you everything you want and need and I do hope there’s a little time for us to meet too!


    PS: I just have the one wig, a blond Dolly Parton one. I haven’t worn it but I love the fact of having the potential to become a country singer right in my very wardrobe… Wigs are marvelous things.

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