Laura Gonzalez

blog

9 Jun 2006

Speak with your own voice

My analysis is beginning to go into that dark place we all have and feel scared to talk about. Transference, of course, is developing at the same time and I am beginning to feel a kind of tenderness for this man, similar to what one might feel for a father figure. This is enhanced by the fact that I am telling him things I have never told anyone, things bottled up within me for a long time. The fact that I cannot see him while I talk really has an effect on my memory, and episodes I thought were not stored within me suddenly come up to the surface. Quite scary sometimes (I fear a passage a l’acte); but also quite productive.

I enjoy writing my clinical diary. I am the kind of person for whom analysis can work. I am not afraid of confronting the fact that I may have been lying to myself for a very long time (a requisite for undergoing analysis, I think); I am not afraid of digging down or of spending a long time and much money in this activity.

When little breakthroughs occur, it seems to me that, somewhere, some order has been restored. The intensity and acute self-consciousness make colours more vivid. I mean it literally: the reds, the blues, and the greens. It is amazing what the strict, law abiding symbolic order can do to someone…

Analysis is also supporting me to establish a more useful parallel with art. The fact that I have found what probably will be one of the most important texts for my PhD also helps. JCFAR’s Special Issue 2000, entitled “In the place of an object”, is a collection of essays and images that think about psychoanalysis. The works of the exhibitions address Jacques Lacan proposition that the work of art occupies the place of the analyst. Art and analysis are not the same, I know. The analogy requires careful work and consideration. There is a wealth of literature out there exploring this and I am just beginning to tap into it (Samuels, JCFAR, Lucy Holmes’s work, Parveen Adams…). I think however, that the exploration of the correspondences between the two is a useful way of building an understanding of seduction, of calling it into presence, of allowing us to glimpse a strategy for considering the effects of seduction (in Alan Cholodenko’s words), the fact that it leads everything astray, including the little Spanish researcher interested in it.

Posted in Blog, Psychoanalysis


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About Me

I am an artist and writer. My recent practice performance, film, dance, photography and text, and my work has been performed, exhibited and published in many venues in Europe and the US. I have spoken at numerous conferences and events, including the Museum for the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York, the Medical Museum in Copenhagen, College Arts Association and the Association for the Psychoanalysis of Culture and Society. When I am not following Freud, Lacan and Marx’s footsteps with my camera or creating performance works as part of my Athenaeum Research Fellowship at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, I teach postgraduate students at Transart Institute.

I am currently immersed in an interdisciplinary project exploring knowledge and the body of the hysteric. In 2013, together with Child and Adolescent Mental Health practitioner Frances Davies, I co-edited the book ‘Madness, Women and the Power of Art’, to which I contributed a work authored with Eleanor Bowen. My book ‘Make Me Yours: How Art Seduces’ was published by Cambridge Scholars in 2016. In this text, investigates psychoanalytic approaches to making and understanding objects of seduction, including an examination of parallels between artistic and analytic practices, a study of Manolo Blahnik’s shoes as objects of desire, a disturbing encounter with Marcel Duchamp’s last work, and the creation of a psychoanalytically inspired Discourse of the Artefact, a framework enabling the circulation of questions and answers through a relational approach to artworks.